A Time For Everything

 

Image courtesy of IMGBIN.

That's not to say 2023 wasn't productive because it was. I read sooo many books** and learned a lot of things. Mostly about finances: where I want to be and how to get there.

** Official book count (of books that I read) according to Goodreads was 55, but I probably read three or four of them twice. I even listened to the audio version of a couple of titles on top of reading the book. Also unaccounted for is all the fan fiction and hockey articles I read and podcasts (hockey or history) that I listened to. That's A LOT of input.

I've determined that I need to re-read some of those books, but there are several books I've never read awaiting their turn. So re-read immediately or go for the new info first...

Okay...started reading a here-to-fore as unread-by-me book:  Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. :)

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So...jury duty...I ended up being excused. They'd apparently gotten enough jurors for whatever case they were fixin' to prosecute, so I've done my duty for 2024 / 2025 according to my very last minute email.

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2023: The Year of Abundance

Last year was supposed to be the year of abundance... And in many ways it was: family, love, time, productivity, and healing. But not in as many other ways as I'd hoped (financials, to be specific), but I'll take what I learned from all that reading and keep on moving forward.

2024: The Year of Doing

As you've probably gleaned from most of last year's posts, I'm on a mission to get out of debt and put money away for retirement.

That means that there will be little money left for anything other than debt-reduction. What I will have available is time and energy, so I'm going to turn my attention to doing the things around the house / yard that need doing.

Housekeeping, as you also know, has been an ongoing challenge for me, so that's part of the equation, but what I'm really talking about here are things like cleaning out the sheds, hauling off the yard debris we've gathered over the years from fallen trees and/or branches, clearing out the back corners of the yard behind the sheds. Etc, etc, etc... I've started the list, but there's plenty to get done.

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So the moment you've all been waiting for! (lol)

Here are they...

Drum roll please...

My Fresh Start Goals for 2024

So back in October, when I gave my 3rd quarter report, I mentioned that the 2024 goals might look & feel different, and so they shall... I thought I'd mentioned that they'd be divvied up into categories, but I can't find that in a post, but it seemed the way to go.

• Finances
• Keep reading...
• Reduce debt / pay off a credit card or two.
• Health & Wellness
• Lose ten pounds
• Continue to utilize the Hinge Health app
• Get into a yoga routine
• Start eating healthier again
• Writing
• Spend time in the manuscript one a week.
• Housekeeping / Home Improvement
• Implement a housekeeping routine
• Carry out various home improvement tasks
• Miscellaneous
• Monthly missives to Grandma
• Read 57 books in 2024
• Increase my cross stitch pattern offerings

As listed, these aren't specific or measurable, but I do have a MS Word doc with all the details mapped out. Go me!

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And last but certainly not least, in December, I lost another dear friend...

Goodbye dear Regina. You were a kind, gentle soul, and I know you're living your best life in heaven.

Taken in Granbury, June 2023. Regina is up front in the left corner.

Taken at Lake Conroe, June 2019. Regina is second from left, in the pink shirt.

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Take care, dear friends.

Chat with you soon.

 

“Death comes for us all; even at our birth-- even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little. And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself whether that day or the next he will draw nigh. It is the law of nature, and the will of God.”

― Robert Bolt, A Man for All Seasons

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 Rest in peace Sean Connery and Alex Trebek.

Sean Connery isn't my favorite James Bond, but he was the first and made the character the icon he is. His and Daniel Craig's versions are the only ones I like.

As for Alex Trebek--game show icon for decades. The world will be a dumber place.

2020 has really kicked the crap out of us.

Hope you had a lovely weekend aside from the Trebek news.

Here's hoping the week is a good one.

We've had some big-name deaths in the last few weeks. The last three that I heard are all from the music industry: Helen Reddy, Mac Davis, and just yesterday, Eddie van Halen--a rocker icon from my childhood.

Of course, Ruth Bader Ginsberg passed a few weeks ago.

It always hits a little too close to home when celebrities from your childhood--no matter how much older than you they might have been--pass away. It's even worse when they're not that much older than you...

Every now and again, tragedy strikes closer to home for most people than school shootings across the country or weather disasters across the globe.

My mom called me the other day to share some tragic news about a dear friend's family. And that's on top of news a week or so earlier about a member of our own family.

I don't know exactly how either one of these two people feel about their losses. I can imagine, but I haven't been in their shoes. I've been close, with the death of my dad. For one situation, though, I can imagine all too well.

The point is, of course, that for all my lamenting about hockey, my prattling about writing, and my gushing about whatever, those things are all unimportant in the grand scheme of things. It's the people in our lives that matter.

Hug your significant other, your children, your siblings, your friends. Tell them how you feel about them any chance you get, because you just never know when they're going to leave this world or when you might.

It wasn't for a person I knew well. I attended out of respect for my father-in-law as it was a member of his family. I did get to spend some time with my mother-in-law, which was nice and which I don't do often enough (so maybe an item for next year's goal list, eh?).

Anyway, the point of today's post is--I know what kind of funeral I don't want. That's not to say yesterday's service wasn't lovely, because it was. If it reflected the person it was for, then great. But a service like that wouldn't reflect me.


So I got to thinking...do I need to sorta-kinda plan my own funeral? Leave a package of notes as to what I want, even though, as my mother-in-law pointed out, funerals are for the living, for those left behind, and not for the person who died?

I'd like to think my kids would be pretty sad if/when I die--I mean, I was sad when my dad died, and I was there when choices as to caskets and music and stuff were being made, but I didn't know my dad that well anymore-- We'd lived so far apart for so many years. --and while I wasn't so overcome emotionally at that point, I didn't know what he would have liked.
My kids may or may not know me well enough upon my death. I hope they do, of course, but they may not. Or they may be so emotional that it'd be hard to think past how they're feeling right at that moment...

So maybe some general notes and a letter to each of my kids. That sounds like a good place to start.


Happy Friday!! Hope you have a great weekend.



P.S. ~ Please don't take this as me being morbid. The fact is, we're all going to die. Making the process easier on the people I leave behind isn't a bad thing.

I have to attend a visitation this evening... Sadly, the father of DD's best friend and room mate (two different people, but brother and sister), died this past Monday. He'd been diagnosed with a brain tumor early last year and had undergone treatment and surgery. It seemed to have done the trick and then, well, it game back and was a bit more aggressive and then there wasn't anything to be done. They had to put him in the hospital last week and sedate him heavily as things were getting bad.

For the first time in my life I really know how other people feel. It'll be six years in November that my own dad died. That it had actually been six years surprised me. I guess I don't count the years that often, but I remember the last days in the hospital with my brothers and sisters and step mom. I remember the decision to take Dad off life support and then the waiting for him to decide it was okay for him to go. I even remember the time of death.

So anyway, while I'd only met the man and his wife once, his children are important to my child and so I shall go and support her and express my heartfelt condolences for their loss. I know it all too well.

Yesterday morning, I learned that Cory Montieth had died Saturday morning sometime. No reports on the cause, but most fans will have posited that it was suicide. Montieth was a recovering drug addict. He'd recently entered and completed a month-long stint in rehab.

I know Cory from the TV show Glee. It's one of my favorites and Cory's character, Finn, also my favorite male character.

I know the pain of having a loved one addicted to drugs. My oldest daughter is recovering (a forever state) and doing well, thank God. Her story could have ended just as tragically and I'm so thankful that she's still with us.

I'm going to share this video with you. From an episode of Glee where Finn sings a song to a fellow glee member. Santana is a lesbian and her status is being outed to the world. She pretty much a bitch all the time and Finn sings her this song to let her know how loved she is (despite her attitude) because he's afraid if things get too bad she'd hurt herself rather than just lashing out at those around her. Too poignant in light of his death. He tells her he loves her right after the video ends.

Anyway, this is one of my very favorite of his performances.

So two Mondays ago, we put Honey to sleep. Sammy seemed to be doing well enough and wasn't acting overly distraught. This past Friday she went outside first thing when I got up as she always does, but didn't come back in straight away. Occasionally, she'll stay out and enjoy the cool, so I didn't think much of it, only checking to make sure the gate hadn't been left open.

A sort time later, the Brown-Eyed Girl went out there to find Sam in a state of almost paralysis. We first thought she'd stepped on something or had hurt one of her legs or paws. But she wasn't yelping or wincing or even pulling away as we felt around for a wound. We decided to wait and see.

She acted lethargic for the rest of the day, not eating or drinking, acting dizzy when she did get up to take care of business. We then thought maybe she'd gotten stung or bitten or had possibly ingested something. DD did a little online research and it's also possible she suffered a mild stroke.

I'm glad to report she's mostly fine, eating and drinking, no longer dizzy, and moving around, not just laying in one spot. She wags her tail when spoken to, etc. But I do think she's now exhibiting signs of missing Honey. She's just not herself. Getting over that loss will just take time.

It may be coming for us sooner rather than later. Our dog, Honey, is 17 years old. She's been suffering with arthritis as well as just plain old age for some time and seemed to have taken a turn for the worse the last couple of days. I took her to the vet this morning (which is why this post is later than usual) to get some guidance.

After Dr. Duncan looked at her and reviewed her records, we discussed options: medication to see how it would help or putting her down. Both the Brown Eyed Girl and DD were with me. Before he left for school, Sonshine thought she should be put out of her misery. He also said some other rather dispassionate things, which I'm not sure don't cover up his emotions. Anyway, BEG thought we should put her down, but DD said she didn't know, which DH and I interpreted as not being ready to let go just yet. I'm not really either, despite my big words. So we opted to go for some NSAIDs and pain meds to see how she fares.

This is her last week:


She looks fine, but her legs are so stiff and she can hardly get up without help anymore.

On a more pleasant note, DH was able to fix the dishwasher last night.

Hope your week is going better than mine. :)

I'm feeling blah today. No reason why I should really. It's a beautiful day. The little heat wave we had broke and now it's true Texas spring weather. Maybe I'm blah because I'd rather be at home with my windows open and being productive there.

I've got some deadlines looming, things that really need doing, but I just can't seem to get my back side in gear. I won't have much of a choice, so it'll get done in the next few days.

I watched three episodes of Grey's Anatomy last night. It's an okay show, I'm not crazy enamored of it like I am Harry Potter, but it's something to watch. In the last ep, one of the character's (George, a surgical intern) dad died. The dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. And it was so wide-spread, there was nothing the surgeons could do. The dad never woke up from surgery and was being kept alive by the machines. T.R. Knight who portrays George was fantastic. He's probably my favorite character. But the whole storyline was well played by all.

When you go through things in your own life, then similar circumstances on TV and in movies & books become so much more emotional.

Case in point, my own dad died in November of 2009--he didn't have cancer or a surgery, but he became "unresponsive" at some point--it wasn't a coma or being unconscious, just unresponsive.... Anyway, after an MRI we were told he was gone and it was just the machines keeping him alive. We (my step-mother and brothers and sisters and I) had to decide if and when to pull life support. We did and quickly. He died about six hours later with his wife and five kids gathered around his bedside.

All that to say, while watching, I was sucked in. I knew how that felt. I cried with George and his family. Probably harder than when my dad actually died because I couldn't cry in front of my family. I was the strong one--the oldest sister (by twelve years) that kept the rest of the family going during that week we waited, hoping. I don't share my emotions much. I should, but I don't. And it's much easier, it's safer, for me to cry over a TV show than to truly break down in public (or in private really) over a private grief. It helps me to purge those emotions, let them out.

I did break down once during that time with my dad, but it was short-lived. Everyone wanted to comfort me and there really was just no comfort to be had then. So I had to shake it off and be strong again.

Well, this has become a bit maudlin...but it's cathartic. And I'm feeling better than when I started this post, surprisingly.

Well, I survived another week. And I'm rewarded with a weekend off, so to speak. No marching band contests, no writer's meetings or events, no Cowboy's Stadium concession work. Whew! I can sleep in tomorrow. Sort of. I have to be up at 5:30 to make a quick post for my RH fandom, but I can go back to bed and sleep for as long as I wish once that's done. YAY!!

My big goal for the weekend, aside from the normal laundry, is wiping down--I should say scrubbing--down the walls in my hallway. I have two big dogs who sleep in the hallway, and the walls at dog level are filthy, icky, and nasty. And I just can't stand to look at them any longer.

Marching band season is officially over and ended on a sad note. If our HS had won the football game last night, we would have proceeded to the playoffs and played in at least one more game. I think we had a chance except for the fact that one of our star players had to be whisked off to the hospital during half-time because his father had died or had taken a turn for the worse (and subsequently died). Needless to say, the football team lost their focus. So if you're the praying sort, please lift up the family of the EHHS football player who lost his father.

I held a baby last night for the first time in years!! A little ten-month-old girl. So sweet.

Well, it's time for me to get some work done so I can maybe start my weekend early and enjoy it.

Have a good weekend!

My mother-in-law's sister, Bev, died a few days ago. She'd been fighting lung cancer for the past year or so along with several maladies.

It was somewhat of a surprise in-so-far as she'd been making plans with her grand kids for the summer, so it seemed like she was feeling all right.

I'm not sure of any particulars at the moment like how she died or when the funeral is, but my mother-in-law is obviously grieving the loss of her sister.

Bev and her family lived in California so the kids and I won't be attending. Not sure about hubby, at the moment, though. He may go for his mom.

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

This is one of my favorite passages of the Bible, and the inspiration for the name of my blog--which I'm sure you all figured out.

This week has been full of these "times." I was called back to Nebraska to my daddy's hospital bed. He ended up in the hospital about two weeks ago with difficulty breathing and some other symptoms. The doctors have not figured out what caused his issues, but they were able to get him well enough to go home. Which was good because our family and my sister's family were planning road trips for Thanksgiving, us from Texas and hers from Michigan.

However, last Thursday morning my daddy coded, and while they were able to resuscitate him, he has not woken up. My sister and I, sans husbands and children flew to NE last Thursday in order to be here to say good-bye if necessary. Luckily, daddy held on until we could both actually get here.

I'm not sure what his status is--critical, serious, stable, etc. I'd say all three really. His condition is non-responsive. He's not actually in a coma, he's not unconscious, and he's not on any kind of sedation. He's on a respirator, but he's doing most of the work, so they're trying to wean him off it. He's fighting pneumonia. Most of his vitals are stable, but his blood pressure keeps jumping.

He had his eyes open this past Saturday, but it's a case of "the lights are on but no one's home." Sunday they gave him a low dose of sedation for some reason, but he's so frail and skinny that it knocked him out.

The rest of us are just hanging out and hanging on, waiting for him to wake up or let go.

Update: MRI showed no brain activity. So we will be pulling the minor life support he's on soon and allowing nature to take its course.