A Time For Everything

Remember the "cookie book"? I wrote a book for submission to an online publisher and submitted it back in January. I was told by the editor who received it that it could be 12 weeks before she got to it. That would have put us at the end of April.

The book is titled "To Linzer & to Cherish."

Instead, the editor got back with me within a couple of weeks, requesting/suggesting some changes to the submitted text (the first 1250 words of the book), which I made and resubmitted. She was satisfied with that change and wanted to see the whole thing after I read a book she recommended and applied the concepts as needed.

So...I reviewed and revised all 23K and sent it to her. Now that she's read the whole book, she's made another observation and requested an outline of how I'd make changes IF I were to proceed. If I tell her I want to make the changes and how I plan to do so, she'll request/send a contract...

Which sounds exciting, but I've spent way more time on this book this quarter than I anticipated and it's thrown me for a loop. I'm not working on the book I was supposed to be working on and I'm feeling a bit discombobulated in general. And this new directive which is somewhat time sensitive is yet another knot in the yarn of my life at the moment.

The offering of a contract sounds like I'll get in the Christmas anthology this year, which was the hope.

So what's the problem...? I'm not sure exactly. Part of it is that--I write the way I write and I have decent ranking numbers on Amazon. Readers don't care as much as editors do about a lot of things... And it's not like my writing won't be all the better for it, but just ugh...

Anyway...enough whining. :0) I told her I'd let her know by Monday, so my weekend will be busy...

Have a great week.

I tried to get something up on Monday, but the inspiration, the words just weren't there.

And now it's Wednesday. I don't feel like I should let two official blog days pass without a post, so have a general life update...

I submitted the cookie book to an online publisher this past Sunday. My receipt email arrived Monday. I should hear back within 60 days if it was accepted or not. *fingers crossed* If it's not, then I'll get a cover made and publish it myself next Christmas. No harm, no foul.

I've got three writing projects on my plate at the moment--finishing the epic historical, percolating hockey book 5, and character development for a future series...

I think I'm just about ready to dive into writing hockey book 5--yeah that's only book five, not six like I thought. My list of hockey books included the box set of the first three. So I thought I was on book 6 for a minute there, but then realized that no, I've only got four individual titles out. Book 5 is for this year, book 6 will come next. I've fixed the list, moving the box set to separate list/section to avoid future confusion. :0)

Aaaand....

Hockey is back!

After a false start (half the team ended up in COVID protocols and games were postponed), we--I should say: the STARS hit the ground running with four straight wins. Then they lost two. And got back into the winning column again last night.

Be Loud. Wear Green. Go Stars!

Whelp--

We made it through January, but 2021 goes marching on.

I made a good start on my goals. I cooked meals. I mopped the kitchen and hallway. I sent a letter to my grandma. I worked on character worksheets. I completed and submitted a book. I worked out.

Now that we've turned the calendar page... 

I'll keep cooking and mopping and writing letters and writing books and  watching/attending hockey games.

The temperatures will keep warming and the days will keep getting longer and I'll keep making progress.

Hope you're well. Catch you on Friday!

The world is grinding to a halt as the Corona Virus does its thing and yet we must carry on with life as best we are able. It's an interesting contrast.

All major sports seasons and events are or, I imagine, will be canceled or suspended. Conferences of all kinds are also being canceled. I get it. Slow the spread as much as possible so that medical facilities aren't overwhelmed, although it might a little late on that front. I want my hockey teams safe and healthy and I don't want sick people in general, but I'm really bummed the season was canceled.


I'm also nervous about the impacts across the globe, across the nation, and across the various industries; what the ripple effect is going to be.

Unfortunately, the only thing I can do is stay home--which I mostly do--and keep myself and my family out of harm's way.

It's really terrible to learn and to understand how spectacularly the infrastructure of our country has failed us. Yes, there have been people predicting something like this for years, but no one took it seriously enough to act or prepare.

I hate to imagine what the landscape of society will look like by the end of 2020.

Sorry for the downer post, but just posting all my vacation pictures without acknowledging the world-wide crisis would leave the wrong impression.

Anyway, have a safe and educational weekend--meaning, stay tuned to what's going on and take the utmost precautions you can.

Aside from rainbows and butterflies or whatever, what does it take for a person to be satisfied or content with their life?

Last summer (2017), while on our retreat to Lake Conroe, one of my dear writer peeps brought a worksheet that listed twenty-five of the most common vital needs. Most people have 5 to 7 seven needs requiring fulfillment on a regular basis, whether daily or weekly, monthly, etc.

personal time	doing for others	recognition for achievements	movement	sleep
approval and acceptance	order and closure	time alone	territory	financial security
one-on-one attention	group relationships	empathy	humor	spirituality
touch	having a project	variety of experiences	structured time	unstructured time
being with people	anticipation	competition	learning something new	listening to music

When my girlfriends and I first talked about these, a few jumped out at me right away.

Sleep--check. Minimum six hours a night with occasional naps to make up what I need.
Personal time--check. I am an early bird and get up super early to enjoy the peace and quiet of the house.
Movement--check. I always feel better when I get my exercise in. I definitely need to get back on track with regular exercise.
Time Alone--check. Early mornings and working from home Tuesdays and Thursdays give me that time.
Listening to music--check. Everyday. In the car if I'm alone. At the office via YouTube. My iPod is docked in my home office.
Humor--check. My Puck Soup Podcast is a staple. I get new content seven times a month, but I often re-listen to a favorite episode.

As I look at the list now, some other things that didn't strike me then, now do.

Having a project--as you probably know by the number of posts there are about cross stitching in this blog, I generally have a project. Usually the cross stitching, but I occasionally do other crafts or work on the house and yard. Also writing.

Doing for others--I've volunteered forever in various groups that I've been a part of. My writers group, the PTA, Band Boosters, my daily chat room.

Structured time/unstructured time--I don't like having my day so structured that everything is scheduled, but I do live by a fairly regular routine and I have a lengthy TO-DO list that keeps me productive each day.

What about you? Any of those needs strike a chord with you??

...and there's no rest for the wicked or the weary in sight.

Isn't this the time of year when life is supposed to slow down? The weather changes, the holidays approach, clients and customers don't call because they've used up their IT budget for the year. (oh, wait, most of our clients are on contracts)

I've got lunch with a friend or two. There's a possible writer peeps gathering. And then there's Thanksgiving. A couple of Stars games are in the mix too. That's just November.

December means prepping for Christmas and fireworks season. There's my writers group holiday party/meeting. There are more hockey games. There's even a chance I'll get a visit from... (drum roll lease) ...Sonshine!!! Please keep your fingers crossed. :0)

In the everyday, there's being with DH and going to the gym and reading and cross stitching and maybe even some writing. I really need to get on that. I need a new book or two out by next October.

On top of all of that--as if that isn't plenty--a dear family member is having some severe health issues, so that'll continually be on the radar.

Hope you're all doing well...

I'll see y'all on Monday. Have a great weekend.

The Stars lost again in spectacular fashion on Sunday. They gave up five goals in the 1st period and only came back to grab two of their own during the rest of the game. It's like someone flicked a switch and turned their talent off. Ugh.

In other sports news, DH and I watched the Daytona 500 yesterday, which was fine. There were a couple of major wrecks, but as I haven't really picked a driver to follow they weren't as devastating to me as they could have been. :0) It's been a while since I followed NASCAR and the driver landscape has changed a lot. I'm not planning on getting super into the sport again, but most fans have a driver or two to pin their weekly hopes on. I've got my eye on a handful, including the guy who won yesterday, but will watch a few more races and narrow it down to 2 or 3.

Going to my writers group meeting on Saturday was the boost I'd hoped for, but that meant a lot of work for me yesterday. Our group is putting together a collection of short stories to celebrate our 35th anniversary. Guess who's in charge? Yes, me. Although I'd wanted to be in charge of it since the 30th anniversary, so it's fine. Anyway, I thought I was going to be able to parse out the proofreading, but a couple of my helpers sorta bailed, so I spent yesterday proofreading a handful of short (3500 words or less) stories. Then I remembered I had to like put together some specialness for the celebration, which is next month. Like ordering the memento, planning table decorations if any, starting a power point presentation for a thing I'm planning, and sending out emails as needed to accomplish all of the above.

On another note, I got my hind-end back to the gym starting yesterday. Went again today. I stopped going because of the super-cold temps that early in the morning and also because working the contest takes a good hour, so that's when I'd work on it. But the contest is running smoother, so I don't need as much time. Anyway, I was feeling the adverse effects of not going and now that it's warmed up, I had no more excuses and every reason to go. So...yeah. Back at it.

The next thing to get after is writing book 7. I just need to park my behind somewhere, fit on the noise-canceling headphones, and write.

How was your weekend?

Our old fridge died a couple of weeks ago and the new one we purchased turned out to be a more popular model than we anticipated as the delivery date got pushed out.

So we ended up living out of ice chests for a couple of weeks, which seemed fine on the surface, but I'm so very glad to have this lovely new appliance in my house now. Though smaller, it's actually a much better fit for my kitchen.



Our old fridge was close to 20 years old, if not older, so while I would have rather not had to fork out hundreds of dollars for a new fridge, I can't be too upset about it finally giving up the ghost.

After living out of ice chests, there wasn't much to transfer into the new fridge, but it wasn't the challenge I expected it be. As I mentioned, the new one is smaller than the old one--and the height available in the shelves in the door is not as much, so salad dressing bottles, as well as ketchup and BBQ sauce can only go in one place. Easy peasy.

Not complaining, though, it's new and it's pretty and it's bright inside!

The fun part is going to be figuring out how to arrange my sizable magnet collection!!

Hope you have a great weekend and enjoy your slide into the holidays!!

Friday I mentioned the struggle of getting out of bed and going to the gym. For what it's worth, I'm on track still. :)

My new motto has become "the next level"--reaching for, striving for, getting to--whatever. Not only at the gym but with my writing. And DH is working at that as well in his business, so I'm trying to step up at work as well.

This past Saturday was writers group and, as usual, I spent a lovely day with some of my favorite people on the planet. One of my writer friends mentioned an audiobook she was listening to about the 10 myths of publishing. I scribbled a note for later and later I looked it up.

Turns out the myths are also available via blog by the same guy, so I tucked into the first myth, and then the next, and the next, and, well, by last night I'd read all twenty-some-odd that are available (three series, two done, one in progress), and every single thing the author said made sense. Many of his myths resonated with me for other reasons, but I'll be going back through the series to re-read and make note of his suggestions, decide what I want from my writing and -- you got it -- take it to the next level.

N--you know who you are--you need to email me, my friend. Turns out this author is married to another blogger you refer to me often. Which makes sense because they think in tandem.

Needless to say, I have a lot of pondering and then a lot of work to do.

I can see now that life is not slowing down any time soon on any front. I'm gonna have to pace myself, and like the title of this blog says and I believe whole-heartedly--there is a time for everything.

Hope you had a great weekend. Mine was enlightening and inspiring.

A year ago yesterday, I watched my son climb aboard a bus for Navy boot camp. It was, without a doubt on my part, the hardest thing I've ever done. Not kidding. Not exaggerating for effect. The thought of it can still bring tears to my eyes.


I spent the better part of last winter depressed and out of sorts, in a haze, writing letters to Sonshine, who himself was undergoing tremendous change, trying to keep us both going.

It's been a year and I still miss him like crazy.

I've wondered when it should be time to get over it, but I still get teary eyed when I see old men with Grizzly Adams beards, and my dad died almost six years ago and I hardly ever saw him. I know my son "growing up" is not the same as a death, but we were close and he was a huge part of my every single day. Is it really so surprising that I still have a hole in my heart and life his shape? It's getting smaller to be sure, but I've heard (several times of late--is the universe trying to tell me something?) that grief is as individual as the person suffering through it. It is what is it and it lasts as long as it lasts.


But each day I look forward to what the day has to offer and enjoy the journey.

...will be drastically changed within the next six months. By September 1st, I will officially be an empty nester. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It'll just be DH and me in the house. What a concept....

As mentioned, DD wants to move out. Badly. Despite the glitch with the houses, I'm pretty sure she and her roommates will have found something and be moved within the next few months.

Sonshine has settled (for the time being) on joining the Army. Yes, he's changed his mind several times in the past year on what he wants to do upon graduation, and, yes, he may yet change it again. But the tentative plan is for him to work one last fireworks season with his dad before signing on the dotted line. Please cross your fingers that he stays with this course of action.

And I should be able to work from home at least part of the time come May or June.

Despite those upcoming changes, I do still feel like a hamster on a wheel. Plugging along each day on these two projects I have going, although as of today, I am one step closer to finishing one of them--the ickier one. The goal is to be completely done by next Friday. Well, I guess I do see some light at the end of that tunnel. I just hadn't really thought about it and it seems like I've been working on so long already.

As for having my house to myself...since DD and roommates have no firm date I have nothing to focus on, and although high school graduation will take place on June 5th, 6th, 7th, or 8th--I don't know which day they'll assign to Sonshine's HS at the moment--it's still just a bit far out for me, though it'll be here before I know it. I know that.

Oh, well...I'll just keep on keeping on and I'll keep y'all posted.

Well, she's knee deep in writing group business. The beginning of the year means the changing of the guard--out with the previous board members, in with the newly elected. Sometimes it's just a shuffle from one position to the next. We lose one or two, gain one or two and everyone else just trades hats.

I love serving my writing group, I really do. I love going to meetings and hanging out with my writer peeps. Writing group day is my one day when I let all my other cares go. I'm gone the whole day, first to meeting, then to hang out with critique partners and other invited friends. I ride with a friend so we have extra time to visit.

This past Saturday was the changing of the guard meeting. My friend, chapter mate, and faithful blog reader Lara was kind enough to open her home to us gaggle of women to get our group on the road to 2014 success. (Thanks, Lara!)

In other news, the yard is frozen. It hasn't had any work done to it in a good month and it needs a pick-me-up pretty bad. On the other hand, it's not the worst it's ever been, so I'm not fretting it too much. There's just been something going on for the last several weeks and when there wasn't, it was just too dang cold to go out.

I spent a couple of weeks on hubby alert. He got a bad case of that flu going around and was laid up at home for a few days. Then, from all the coughing, he ended up with a level three tear in his abdominal wall. If it had been any worse, he'd have had to have surgery to re-attach stuff. Yikes. Until this past Friday, he hasn't driven since when he has to cough, he likes to hunch over to cause the least amount of tug on his belly muscles.

My schedule's been wonky because of DH being sick, and on top of that, the water pump on DD's truck bit the big one, so we were out a vehicle for two weeks. It took a bit longer because we had DD's friend fix it rather than pay a dealership the thousand dollars they quotes us. Instead, we shelled out about $150 in parts and adopted a dog.

This is Rayna...




Her daddy (the friend that fixed DD's truck) lives at home with his parents, as does his sister who has a toddler and a new baby. His parents have been after him to get rid of her because they're worried that she might hurt one or the other of the little ones--not out of aggression, but because she's protective. So we agreed to take her. We babysat her last week and it's going to be a tough adjustment for her. She loves her daddy. I'm thinking she's gonna have to bond with Sonshine. Also, I think I'm going to have to take her to work with me. I don't know that leaving her in a strange house by herself right off the bat is a good idea either. I'll keep you posted.

And last but not least is my continued lack of weight loss. I'm back up around 140lbs, though I haven't gone over but a blip and only once. All the sickies and injuries and crazy schedules and just stuff have conspired to keep me off kilter and seeking comfort in not-so-great food choices. Okay, they're not super bad, it's just that I think I'm eating more that I should be and not drinking enough water. That's gonna end very soon. DH is ready to make healthier choices too.

Well, I think I've gabbed your ear (or eyes?) off enough for today, so I'll sign off.

Hope things are cruising along much better in your neighborhood.

Not for any discernible reason. I just felt meh. Then my friend sent me an e-mail. One of those forward things that you're supposed to keep forwarding. And it was just the thing I needed. You might have been the recipient of this same e-mail at one point or another....

The e-mail subject may be 7% or 45 Life Lessons--written by a purportedly ninety-year-old woman. I looked it up on Snopes for some reason and found that it was indeed written by the woman mentioned in the e-mail, only she's not ninety, she's only in her mid-fifties at this point. :)

But some of those life lessons hit home and so I thought I'd share them.

Written by Regina Brett, 50-something years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio ...

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written."

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's okay to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's okay to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.


Twenty one, twenty three, and twenty five spoke to me the most. I'm going to put out the nice stuff, what we have anyway, gonna be eccentric now, and be happy, despite what others say and do.

Care to share which one/s strike the deepest chord for you?

The men will be home some time today and life will return to some semblance of normalcy, but things will be different too.

On Monday, I shared some of my goals. In nothing more than a few sentences I mentioned those last 20 to 30 pounds I need to lose. To that end, I get back on the eating and exercise wagon, starting today. Yes, you've heard it before, and not so very long ago, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time. I need to be now. And so I have begun. My general feeling of well being has degraded and I have come to feel blah and achy and suffer continuous lethargy. And I'm tired of feeling that way.

In addition to that, I've been suffering with an almost continuous headache for the last month or so--ever since I began to over-indulge my love of of sugar. As of yesterday, my sugar intake has been reduced to the minimum requirements--just from the honey in my morning oatmeal and fiber bar and whatever occurs naturally in the other healthy food choices I make. So far this morning, the pain is barely a blip. Thank goodness, though I imagine it may ramp up as the day progresses.

I went back to my regularly scheduled breakfast this morning and have returned to my little habit of short rounds of calisthenics throughout the day. Later, daily trips to the post office will resume as well. Lunch will be healthy salads and dinner will be protein and vegetables (mostly green ones).

I hope your new year is going well so far. On Friday, I'm going to address another of my goals--more for my own benefit than yours--but the accountability will be helpful as well just putting my plans in black and white so that I can refresh my memory and keep myself on track.

Have a great day!

The last few months have been rough. My oldest daughter moved back home, which meant, if you remember, that I had to give up my writing room. She also decided she was going to get up at 6:30 to do her devotions. Which meant I lost my early morning quiet time.

In addition, school started which meant marching band events and the general chaos that comes form having a child in school, then add teenager to that equation.

On the work front, things have been in transition for a month and half now. Things are changing, eventually for the better, but even so, transition can be hard.

As you also know, I've been trying to lose weight--to reach a healthy weight of approximately 115 lbs. Right now I'm just trying to shed the pounds. Once I get there, the plan is to turn fat to muscle. Which (I know, I know) weighs more. But that's okay. Anyway, I'm about 20lbs. lighter and have 25lbs. to go, but I'm at a stand still, the dreaded plateau that only renewed effort--meaning exercise--will get me over.

The point of all this is that I've allowed circumstances to control me. My writing and exercise have slacked off because I've let the mild depression and the ill will I've felt over circumstances that were really unavoidable guide my decisions.

It's not as if I don't know that exercise, especially, will help me lose more and weight and generally help me feel better, which in turn will help the writing. The problem becomes I just don't care.

This weekend was a step in the right direction. I completed a project and submitted it. It felt really good to get that accomplished. I was also able to overcome some doubts I had regarding another WIP. I discussed the story and my concerns with a couple of writer friends, and I found my way through the fog.

I usually like to start things on Sunday, and I sorta did. I was up and writing at 5:30 yesterday at least.

But today is a brand new day. I'm back to getting up early. I'm back to writing or revising every day. I'm back to exercising and eating better. (The walking will start tomorrow. I swear.)

I'm back to controlling my life, not letting life control me.

So...how was your weekend?

Or is it?

Our golden retriever mix is 17 years old. We're amazed that she's still with us and, if you remember, about a month ago we'd taken her to the vet and considered putting her to sleep due to her advanced age and arthritis issues.

So now the bottom right flap of her jaw has sort of gown over her teeth & jaw. The vet said most likely it's mouth cancer, which is fairly common with dogs and can occur at any age. Of course, without proper diagnostics there's no way to know 100% and even then it's take a biopsy to truly know. So considering Honey's age and the fact that we're on quality of life maintenance as it is, we opted to not go with diagnostics or treatment.

It doesn't seem to be bothering her over much, and she's eating and drinking just fine still. She engages with the family, still wags her tail, and most of the time (except when the pain med dose is wearing off) still looks happy.

So we opted not to euthanize at this point either. We're going to watch and enjoy. However, as surprising as it is that's she's 17 and still going, however slowly, we joke that she's gonna be gimping around for quite some time. Sonshine will be 60 and still have this dog from his childhood.

How old is she again?

She's 63.

In dog years?

No. In people years.

Here she is (again):

Another reason to love (hate?) Texas. We're back up mid 80s during the day and last night, the heater didn't even kick on, so the house didn't get colder than 70*.

There's nothing exciting going on right now. :(

I started reading though. It's not necessarily a good thing when I have 2K to write by the 20th and a story due by November 22. (It's just a fan fic thing.) Also my anthology needs to be sent in by November 1, but it's mostly done. It just needs a final polish.

How about a warm fuzzy picture or a picture of something warm and fuzzy today? I wouldn't mind spending the day with a good book, a hot cup of tea, and this sweet thing curled up next to me.


What would you rather be doing today?

It may be coming for us sooner rather than later. Our dog, Honey, is 17 years old. She's been suffering with arthritis as well as just plain old age for some time and seemed to have taken a turn for the worse the last couple of days. I took her to the vet this morning (which is why this post is later than usual) to get some guidance.

After Dr. Duncan looked at her and reviewed her records, we discussed options: medication to see how it would help or putting her down. Both the Brown Eyed Girl and DD were with me. Before he left for school, Sonshine thought she should be put out of her misery. He also said some other rather dispassionate things, which I'm not sure don't cover up his emotions. Anyway, BEG thought we should put her down, but DD said she didn't know, which DH and I interpreted as not being ready to let go just yet. I'm not really either, despite my big words. So we opted to go for some NSAIDs and pain meds to see how she fares.

This is her last week:


She looks fine, but her legs are so stiff and she can hardly get up without help anymore.

On a more pleasant note, DH was able to fix the dishwasher last night.

Hope your week is going better than mine. :)

Can I stop time right now? The month of May is going to be a busy whirlwind of a month, most of it revolving around band events with a handful of family events thrown in for good measure. My month looks like this:

05.05: Jazz Festival sponsored by Sonshine's band, I'm helping. All day.
05.10: Band Booster meeting
05.12: oldest nephew's graduation from college and subsequent induction into the USAF
05.13: Mother's Day and my birthday celebration
05.18: band award banquet
05.19: writers group and critique group meetings
05.22: spring band concert (which included booster meeting to vote on officers)
05.23: my youngest nephew's birthday
05.24: band trip, lasting 2 days and on which I'm going as a chaperone (eek)
05.27: my father-in-law's birthday
06.01: graduation for Sonshine's HS - he's not graduating, but the band plays Pomp and Circumstance
06.02: youngest nephew's graduation from high school
06.03: my momma's birthday
06.03: Cowboys Stadium event (and so it begins....)

And I have writing and revising to accomplish in between all that.

I'm feeling overwhelmed now that I've compiled this definitive list. Yikes.

Breathe, Jen, breathe. In. Out. Slowly. One day at a time and I'll get through it.

On that note, I have a couple of things I need to get done, so this is all you get today.

Happy HUMP day. See you Friday.

It's been a really long year. Between financial hardships and drug-addicted-daughter woes, 2010 has been dubbed the year from hell. I suffered with mild depression for most of it. It (the depression and the year from hell) probably all started back in November of 2009 when my daddy died. Then it all went down hill from there.

All that to say that I am finally ready to re-enter my life. For the past year I have escaped to/hidden in the Internet and fan fiction. I've made online friends I don't want to lose, but I am definitely ready to live in the real world again.

Tonight, when I got home from work, I actually worked on the spare room--not just thought about it. It was our oldest daughter's room till she moved out and it has been sitting empty (dog beds and water bowl aside) since her departure last June. Part of it was that if she decided to come home, I didn't want her to think we had been eager to be rid of her. But I'm ready to move forward, whether she returns home or not after her stint in jail/drug rehab. So...I dug out the primer and finished painting the chair rail molding and the window trim said daughter started painting and never finished. I still have to paint the bottom portion of the wall where the baseboard molding used to cover and the small sections from behind the outlet covers she didn't take off.

And you know what? It felt good to be active and moving. I've been so sedentary, really sedentary, that I just generally felt weak and lacking energy.

On top of that, I have had an epiphany of sorts. I've come to the conclusion that I don't really want to be a writer. That I don't want to pursue publication. Oh, I enjoy writing and I enjoy learning about different aspects of writing, but getting published is hard and I really don't want to put in the effort and hard work.

I've been trying to figure out what it is I do want to do. And I've come to the conclusion that I want to be a housewife and do whatever the hell I want. If I want to read or write or bake or play a computer game all day or sit in my yard or play with my dogs, then that's what I'd like to be able to do. I really have no grand dreams of being this or that or some other thing. Someday...

Speaking of computer games, I got the second version of a game I had several years ago and have been having fun playing and not putting pressure on myself to write.

It was a good day.

Day five out of my comfort zone. Mostly it's not so bad. It's really the dealing with the employees that I have to learn. The part I hate the most. The meeting with my employee went okay. He got a bit defensive and tried to pass the buck, and we'll have to work on that. I did, however, chicken out on discussing one thing in particular.

The day sucks because Dan has been trying to build a screaming computer on which to do forensics, and he's run into one problem after another and he's got a case he desperately needs to process. That and payday is next Friday and we have to make sure payroll is covered and we're running out of days. Collecting money is not my department, but I'm directly affected because I'm the one who goes without if necessary.