Monday, November 14, 2022

Ups & Downs

The State of Jen


My emotions, of late, have been a bit a lot like a roller coaster. It's been quite the year and it stands to reason that I'd be feeling a lot of things.

Some of those emotions, in no particular order, are: sadness, relief, overwhelm, resentment, frustration, and longing.

Add in the current on-going saga of the dog with cancer...

Add in misc (minor) health issues...

And the end of the year is not going the way I thought it would, either from before Mom died or after she passed.

I'm looking ahead and forward to 2023 much like many of us did after the first year of COVID as well as after the second...

As if the transition of one year to the next will magically mean better things. If nothing else, it means leaving behind the drama and/or trauma of "last" year.

Some of it is mental, absolutely -- the old year passes and the new year equals a fresh slate.

That mostly works for me. My fresh start goals each January are for the new / current year.

Doesn't work so much for emotions. They aren't ruled by the calendar as so much of life is.

Some of my current emotional disquiet stems from Rayna's illness, and some of it stems from a general worry over the economy and global strife.

Eventually, I'll find my emotional footing and things will look a bit rosier.

But for now, I'm not 100% okay. And I know it's okay to not be okay for a bit. :0)

I'm giving myself grace, but it is time to start thinking seriously about my goals for next year and beyond.

Take care and have a great week.

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