Thursday, November 17, 2022

National Adoption Day ~ Saturday, Nov 19th


National Adoption Day comes around on the Saturday before Thanksgiving each year.

A Coalition of national partners including The Alliance for Children’s Rights, Children’s Action Network, Freddie Mac Foundation, and Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption started National Adoption Day in 2000.  In November of 2000, the sponsors worked with law firms, state foster care agencies, child advocates, and courts to complete hundreds of foster care adoptions in nine jurisdictions nationwide.

Why am I sharing this? Not because I'm adopted, nor are any of my kids, but I have an online friend who adopted a five-year-old last year. Not in November, but earlier. End of summer maybe. This child was just entering school. Now for a whole year, this friend and her husband had to keep the identity of the child to themselves due to the legal proceedings.

But they'd still share anecdotes along the way. This kid is a riot.

Then this year, once things became legal and the little girl was legally theirs, they shared her with the world. I get to watch this reality show via Facebook. And it's amazing. It's not scripted. But it's real. It's heartwarming. And it's inspirational.

Now the reason I'm sharing this is because recently, this friend, the mom, shared one of the downsides to adoption--the emotional trauma response of her girl. Anger. Deep sadness. Shame. I don't know the backstory as to why this child ended up in foster care, and it doesn't matter, but things affect us. All of us. Especially a little girl who may not understand things.

This online friend also shared that adoption is often looked at through a lens of sadness--what the child may have lost, i.e. his/her real parents.

But those parents may have been pieces of trash who hurt and abused the child or been struggling with issues of their own and not fit / able to care for a child of their own due to reasons beyond their control.

So this friend's plea--and this is from her FB post on the matter:

"HOWEVER, if you have a kid? Why don't you use this post as a sign that you need to sit down with them and give a better explanation on adoption? Maybe ask them some questions and see how they explain it to you. Then point out the fact that every family is built differently and while there might be some sadness in how some are formed, that's not the main takeaway.

"Like we told XXX: Adoption is all about gaining. She gained two new families, countless friends, and lots of love while we gained a wild child daughter who loves fake blood and calls us bro on the daily.
She's not embarrassed about adoption and we aren't either. So maybe take some time to talk to your littles about it too, even if you don't personally adopt a kiddo. Because, believe me, whether you know it or not you're probably already around someone who has been in foster care or gone through adoption.
Be kind to them by not assuming adoption is some sad, pitiful thing."

This saga has been amazing to watch from afar and the main reason this person hasn't been purged during the great FB culling of 2022.

This child they got seems to be the perfect fit for their family (as my friend alluded in her own words). I know that's not always the case. But adoption gives a lot of people a chance.

Your PSA for the month.

Have a great weekend.

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