“Death comes for us all; even at our birth-- even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little. And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself whether that day or the next he will draw nigh. It is the law of nature, and the will of God.”
― Robert Bolt, A Man for All Seasons
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As I mentioned a couple (a few?) months ago, we brought my mom to Texas due to health reasons. Unfortunately, that health reason is stage four lung cancer, which has metastasized to various places. She (and we) now seem to be in the final stages of life. The length of this journey depends on the one taking it--Mom, in this case, and not the ones living vicariously along with them--so there's no telling when we'll say the final good-bye.
I'm trying to line up topics and write up the blogs to be ready to go on Mondays, but should a Monday or three get skipped, you can probably infer we've reached a crisis point or she's passed and we're taking care of all the posthumous tasks...
I hope I don't sound as if I don't care...I do. It's my mom, you know? I've already shed some tears and I'm sure I'll shed some more, but Mom and I haven't been close in two+ decades, so in some ways it's a tad bit easier to walk this road. Also--something I haven't mentioned in a long while (lol)--my personality strengths probably have a lot to do with my journey through this.
Also, my husband has been a rock. He keeps asking what he can do for me, which is much appreciated, and it's really been a matter of taking things off my plate. Unload and re-load this dishwasher, for example.
I also know that being a care-giver requires me to take care of me...and mostly that means keeping as much normal as possible in a situation that's completely abnormal. Making dinner, doing laundry, and other random chores actually help me stay on an even keel... Also thinking about and writing and scheduling blog posts... :0)
If there's not a book, there needs to be one covering all the things to think about when a loved one is in the final stages of life. This has been a whirlwind journey for DH and I as we make sure all Mom's ducks are in a row so that there's not a huge mess left behind for anyone involved once the dust settles.
Luckily, her ducks weren't terribly complicated. Ours, on the other hand, definitely are, so we'll working on making sure we make as many arrangements in advance so that our kids won't be left scrambling, especially if we die unexpectedly.
As for the picture of Mt. Shasta at the top...even though Mt. Shasta in in Northern California, it's viewable not specifically from Mom's house, but as you drive from Klamath Falls to Keno where she lives. She wants to be cremated and her ashes sprinkled in the forests of Oregon, the home of her heart. I'm happy to make that happen. As a side note, I think we drove down that exact road on the first stage of our journey from Oregon to Texas.
I know death can be a bit of tetchy subject, but it's what's going on in my life at the moment, so here you go.
Hope you have a good week, no matter what mine brings.
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